Updated: Nov 15, 2020
Hey, welcome to another blog post about dating-apps! My name is James Langton, I was on the official Tinder Top 30 most 'Right-Swiped' list of 2019.
I am the founder of Dater Help, a service where I improve your dating-app profile for more matches and dates, by selecting + retouching your photos and writing you a highly personal bio. I also offer dating-app coaching via Zoom.
Here are the best pick up lines for Tinder in 2020...
I feel this is a slight clickbait because what I am about to suggest is slightly different from what you will usually find when it comes to Tinder advice.
Chat-up lines are really outdated when it comes to speaking with someone you find attractive because they go back to times even before the internet and approaching someone in a bar, who most likely had 0 interest in you.
This is 2020 (which also happens to be the craziest year ever) and chat-up lines are still outdated, let's scrap them completely. Right here, right now.
Imagine you are sitting there and your phone suddenly 'pings' that infamous sound that is a Tinder notification. You pick your phone up and check your notification to see that someone has messaged you a 'Copy + Paste' chat-up line they have found online. Another low effort message from a dating-app, another person you don't want to speak to or meet.
You read it, take another look at their profile, and then proceed to lock your phone again.
If you've ever sent a chat-up line, you will have been on the receiving end of this. You will have been ignored on all dating-apps, not just Tinder. You're probably sitting there thinking "Woah, how does he know that!?" Well, everyone gets ignored on dating-apps at some point, but those who send chat-up lines get ignored a whole lot more. I regularly speak with guys who open up to me about not receiving any messages back on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, etc. Apart from their profile not being great (I can make it amazing) what they are messaging their matches is the 2nd reason why they aren't successful on their chosen app(s).
Instead of the chat-up lines you have clicked this blog post in search of, I'd like to equip you with a structure and a few skills that have helped me and many of my clients to reach their dating-app goals; better conversations and more dates.
I feel it is important to say that many people are on dating-apps for vanity and many just aren't interested in speaking to other people. No amount of well crafted first message will ever get a response from these people, it's just a case of moving on and not letting it get you down. You will never have a 100% response rate. I still get ignored on Tinder, and I was one of the most right-swiped people on the platform, if you want the proof everyone gets ignored.
Tip: Act fast with the first message
As soon as you match with someone (on any dating-app, not just Tinder) you want to message them ASAP.
Because they have just viewed your profile and you are still fresh in their mind. Whatever idea you have in your head about waiting until the next day or waiting for your match to message you, forget it, this isn't 2004 anymore where you have to wait 3 days until you message someone when they give you their number. Even if you receive the match and message straight away, this is completely fine.
Tip: Send a question that you actually care about
Let's get this out the way... "hey, you ok?" is the worst thing you can send. I bet you've sent it before and you've definitely received it before. How did those dates go? Yup, they didn't, because you never met, because you never got past 2 or 3 messages.
Why should you not send "hey, you ok?" as a first message? Here are 3 reasons why, actually...
Every other person on every dating app sends that message
Why would they tell you how they are, they don't even know you
It evokes no reaction other than "Yeah good thanks. You?" and the convo is well and truly dead
What to send instead...